#1 A Home for my Family
If you know me, you'll know that I can't do "temporary" - I need permanence, we need permanence.
A place to call our own, Home, where we can actually relax and be comfortable, and really Live.

# PEACE OF MIND
Someone once told me that they wouldn't wish the burden of owning a house on anyone. If only they knew the burden I hold from not owning one, this one specifically. Thanks to my Hypothyroidism, I suffer from depression, but living here.. :/ - and then there're the nightmares, all the time, it's debilitating.
I can't function properly when my mind is shot and believe me, it affects everything. Quite a few times, I have literally woken up crying, and even running to my sleeping kids to make sure they were okay.
One time, I couldn't even do that. Victor wasn't home and I was exhausted, didn't put myself to sleep properly, just layed on my bed, over the covers and fell asleep. In my 'dream' I was exactly as I'd fallen but I couldn't move, or make any sound, and across the hall, standing so still in the bathroom, I saw a figure. I can't recall details except that maybe she had dark hair but she was dark and blurry, just standing there staring back at me. I tried screaming for my kids but nothing came out, and again, I couldn't get up to find them. So yeah, I woke up crying but that's all I could do. It took a while before I was able to get up and check on my kids. Now, I don't know the significance of the girl, if it's just something in my subconscious or because my kids have told me they've seen a girl in the apartment that scared them or what but I'd just rather not have my family be scared of the place where we reside.
Most of the other nightmares, though, are different and yet very much the same. Different buildings, layouts and things but it's the same place, surrounded by nothingness; deserted and isolate. However, I couldn't remember details of any of them if my Life depended on it, just a feeling of desolation.
So, as you can see, having this house could and would give me peace of mind. Understatement.

# PRIVACY
You would think that because our apartment faces a corner, out in the desert, we'd have all the privacy in the world but no, we do not. For some reason, everyone likes walking by our apartment over here. All the kids in the complex are always playing around here. Not only that but they think they need to be loud, playing right by our windows and sometimes even knocking on them, and/or messing with our few things out there. It's not even like we have a nice area surrounding our apartment because it's quite the opposite, I almost refuse to let my own kids out there because of how ugly and unsafe it is. There was also a huge part of the fence that was missing, for weeks, so there'd be people just hanging around out there, coming and going as they pleased.
All that, and the walls are paper thin. Being able to hear our neighbors and them us is not at all enjoyable. Hearing their fights, their throwing furniture around, both adults and children screaming, or when they'd have parties at all hours of the night and day, inside and out.. and yet we'd get in trouble for making any noise.
One night, my sister, her daughter and fiance were staying the night and in the middle of the night, someone came pounding on my door, screaming about my relatively new baby crying because for some reason, they were outside the window and didn't approve.
Doing anything here, whether it be taking the trash out, doing laundry on those rare occasions, my kids out playing, coming or going anywhere, people stare hard.
I don't even remember the details exactly but I've been accused of being associated with a neighbor because they lived next to me and turned out be some kind of criminal. They were said to be frequent visitors in my apartment when I'm sorry but I have no idea who you're even talking about!?! Unlike other people, I mind my own business. I do know some of the people in these apartments since this is a rather small town but a lot of them, I refuse to acknowledge because I'm sorry but these low-income apartments are not somewhere one should want to live, at all. And believe me, I don't.

# PROTECTION
It's not safe here. I want to be able to protect my family and I can't do that here. I'd like to invest in a quality alarm system and perhaps some form of defense in case someone were to break in. It's almost happened before. Victor was here alone, while the kids and I were with my mom, at night, sitting in the dark playing a video game when he heard what sounded like a power drill or something so he got up, went outside to see what was going on and saw someone run from our boys' window. Since the manager lives near us, Victor went to tell and he didn't believe him!
We've had cars broken into as well! One night, ours was one of five broken into; the stereo and a bunch of other things were stolen, including my camera I'd gotten from my mom for Christmas!
The last time I had my Learner's Permit, we had a small white car and while I was out, running errands, it died on me! Of course I got blamed for not knowing how to drive properly but when Victor's dad had it checked out, even he was told that a line was cut; NOT my fault! I don't know if it was because someone had something against me or Victor or just some random car-vandalizing but it wouldn't have happened in a private driveway or garage.

# LOCATION
These apartments are so inconvenient, we can't go anywhere without having to drive and not having a car kind of puts a stop to that. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with 'staying home' and sometimes I prefer it except that this is no home and I can't stand being here.
If we had that house, I would love being there, 24/7 if I could but it's located within walking distance of almost everything. My mom's house, for one, we could visit whenever we wanted without having to hassle anyone for a ride. Yeah, it's a hassle, going anywhere. I have five kids, at the moment, so it's kind of hard to go places when my mom's car only seats five. My brother, that lives with my mom, does have an eight-seater SUV but he's not very fond of us using it, as it's "not a taxi." So..
Yeah, it would help if I had my own vehicle, let alone a driver's license but that's a different story altogether. Although, if I had this house, I could get my own car within a couple months.
The school. This house is across the street from the school so I'm sure you can see how it would be a lot easier to get my kids to and from though I suppose you don't know the troubles we have in doing so at the moment. For some reason, Fourth grade and up are not allowed on the bus so we have to find another form of transportation for Lotte. Well, we wouldn't have a problem with the boys riding the bus if it were possible for them to get on it in the morning but despite there being a bus schedule, it's rarely on time so sometimes they miss it and others, they're late for school! So most days, they get a ride with Lotte. However, they're usually late this way. I'd rather not blame her but my mom works graveyard so she's usually exhausted when she gets off in the mornings and that's all I'd like to say on that matter. After school though, the boys ride the bus and most of the time, it's not a problem but there've been a couple times when that didn't work out well at all. Getting Lotte home after school isn't always so nice and easy, either, unfortunately. We have plenty of horror stories any mother would hate to have to experience so yeah, it'd be much easier, and safer, to be able to just walk my kids to and from every day if we lived right across the street.
Not only that but I'd be able to be involved in my kids' schooling!; attending PTA meetings, participating in school events, and just helping in the classrooms! I've always wanted to be on the PTA and/or be a Room Parent and at the beginning of this year, I did actually volunteer but I wasn't able to help at all so I ended up having to resign. I know, parent participation isn't required but I like being involved, helping make the best for the kids but being here, it's much worse than not being able to contribute, my kids are struggling because I can't even make the best for them "at home."
Just about everything else is within walking distance; hospital, clinic, library, recreation center and park(s) where many school and after-school functions are held, and the aquatic center so, like I said, even though I'd want to "stay home" all the time, we'd have so many options to "get out of the house" whenever we so chose or needed; Awesome.
And as great as it would be for us to go elsewhere, to live at this house, at this location, would help a great deal in bringing others to us but I'll explain that in "Home-Based Business" and "Hosting Guests" below but I will say that although it's not necessarily the location of the apartments that stops people from coming here [though they are kind of inconveniently out of the way] but the fact that they're "low-income" is quite the deterrent.

# ROOM
Room to breathe! This tiny apartment is way too small for a family of 7, almost 8. We don't have any type of yard here so we're mostly squashed inside and.. I'm somewhat claustrophobic. The house has a large porch, front yard, side yard, back yard, courtyard, if you will, a garage and plenty of 'driveway' space; it's surrounded by outside room! I'll explain this better in "Outside" below.
Now inside, my gosh. First though, I have to stress that we have no room in this apartment. In fact, we're constantly getting in trouble with the managers because of this. It's too small for us! As a family of 7, we have a lot of stuff and there just isn't anywhere to put any of it so it looks like "clutter." All the closets are too small so they're already packed. I'm sorry but where am I supposed to put our things?! We don't have anywhere else! We've tried keeping things at my mom's but that just doesn't work. She doesn't have spare room for us, either!
The house has an abundance of room. Two "living" rooms. The first is at the entrance of the house and would be used quite a bit for my "Home-Based Business" below but of course everyday "living" as well. It's a rather large room, with a full wall of shelves. Ooh, my gosh, all the things that room could hold; so many books, series after series of encyclopedias, children's books, magazines, house-designing books, cook books, etc. And the decorations, my goodness, that room was so beautiful all lit up at Christmas.
Anyway, next is the kitchen. Lots of counter and cupboard space with a very large pantry. I would eventually like to tear down the wall between the kitchen and pantry to open them up. Would be nice to be able to get my kids in on the food-making but it's hard to do that if there's barely any room for me in the kitchen.
Then we have the dining area and other space in what was originally the back porch to the house but my grandpa and uncles expanded on it so yeah, a dining area that's not so much in the way would be nice as well as the other space that could be put to good use. There were two spots that we'd kept a desktop computer, at different times, so having the option of places to keep our computer, instead of in the middle of our little crowded living room would be awesome although we'd probably still keep it in the "back" living room of the house and I'll explain in a bit but.. more room for other recreational purposes!
To the left of the "dining area" would be the first bathroom, a very large bathroom where we have a toilet, of course, standing shower, a sink console, a large marble Jacuzzi-style bath, with air-jets, and soo much more room, where we used to have a barber chair for haircutting. Now, this room was not original as you can see the rock on the one wall against the rest of the house; very extravagant addition. Note: The pantry was the bathroom.
Then back into the dining area and immediately to the left we have the "master" bedroom and I only say this because it's a very large room, that was my mom's, right next to the nicer of the bathrooms. I'd have my girls have it though.
Back through the "dining" porch area, next to the pantry, we have what was and would be the daddy's and my bedroom and then the door to the stairs to the basement directly beneath, where the boys would reign. I do believe they're the same size and even as they aren't as large as the girls' "master," they are more spacious than our current rooms in this apartment.
Now "my" room used to open up to the "front" room but that doorway was closed off and a book shelf was installed, facing the "front" room. On "my" side, a large closet and more shelving.
On the upper level of the basement stairway is a wall of shelves, perfect space for storing massive amounts of toys, to save room for playing of course, and whatever the Hell else we want.
Back up and out on the [porch] and down the two steps (yeah, there're two steps!) to the second, rather large, "back" living room although about half would be used as such. The other, anything we want. Now, if you know me, you'd know that I'm a gamer. Have been since I was little, living in this house. The daddy is also a gamer and our kidlings game as well so instead of a "man cave" we would have our "family cave" where we'd have most, if not all, of our entertainment; TV and game consoles and probably our desktop. In the other areas, I'd really like to have different sorts of 'stations' like for homework, reading, and arts and crafts and such.
There's one part of the wall I'd like to open up to the backyard.
Next to that we have.. a closet! A "walk-in" closet with a wall of very large, deep shelves. My little brother used this room as his bedroom at one time. I believe my grandma and mom used it as a sewing room, I remember there being a large desk and lots of supplies. I would love to use it as such, if not anything else I could think of..
To the left of there we have the second bathroom. Not as large as the first but still pretty big, especially compared to our tiny bathroom here. There's a double sink console and large mirror above, taking up one wall then there's the toilet and a large standing shower with a built-in seat.
The bathroom here has the toilet and a shower/bath combo with enough floor space for the door to open and close and that's it. We literally have to stand to one side to, if not straddle, the toilet when using the door. We do have a sink but outside the door.
Anyway, back to the house. Next to the second large bathroom we have the laundry room where we also had a spare refrigerator and another wall of cupboards and shelves that I remember being packed of craft supplies.
Like my grandpa's supply closet at his office, I always loved raiding these cupboards for all the different crafty things. More than anything I remember making lots of Christmas decorations. This house was so beautiful at Christmas.
Sorry, getting off topic again.
Through the laundry room, we step outside, into a little sort of "courtyard" where we have not one but two sheds, the backyard, and the apartment/guesthouse where the daddy and I lived with Lotte while she was gestational and for most of her first year. My grandpa lived here in his last few years and also used it as his office since his wife passed and his office downtown had been destroyed by water damage from a neighboring building fire being put out. I believe my oldest sister lived in the apartment at one point but I'm not sure. I do remember my other siblings and I using it as a sort of clubhouse as well. It has it's own bathroom and a little kitchen area as well as a chimney. As it could be used as an office, clubhouse, apartment/guesthouse for any friends or family that needed, I'd more than likely use it for the latter. If I had this house, I would want my brother Tony living with us and what'd be better than him having his own little place? Of course he'd also have full run on the house.
Then in front of the apartment, we have the garage. So many things we could use the garage for since we don't have any car to store there.. :P. Even if we did, the driveway is big enough for four vehicles. More storage, obviously. Like bikes! Yes, my kids could have bikes and keep them in the garage and not have to worry about them being stolen. Sounds good to me. 'Cause here, we're not supposed to have anything outside, even though everyone else does, so we've tried having bikes and scooters out there but noooo, we had to bring them in as if we have room to store bicycles inside a tiny apartment. And yeah, we've had a few stolen so, we've kept them in the pantry. o.0
But! I imagine us actually using the garage, often. Maybe for crafts that require a little help from power tools. Perhaps workout gear like a bench, weights, and/or punching bag and.. quite possibly some other third thing, I'm sure.
The house does have an attic and I've always wondered what was up there. I'd definitely have to see and do something with it. I've also always thought it a little annoying how attics would be used only for storage in movies and such. I put it to better use and make it lively.
Eventually I would like to add on. Perhaps a room for each of the kids and let them help design them since my boys have said they'd build me a house when they're older and they all love building things with Lego blocks, and on Minecraft. That's also one of the very reasons I like playing the Sims games; always loved designing houses. When I was younger, I'd design floor plans on grid paper and loved looking through house-designing books and magazines.

# HOME-BASED BUSINESS
When I say I'm "at-home" it doesn't necessarily mean just staying-at-home because I do actually work-from-home and although it's far from easy, I don't necessarily call it "work."
I sell Avon. Not officially myself but I do most of the "work" while "helping" my mom; putting brochures together, distributing them, keeping inventory, hosting open houses, etc. First of all, the stuff is not cheap, we usually spend more than we earn. Keeping inventory takes up space, that we DON'T HAVE, just boxes of stuff, essentially in the way. And the purpose of having inventory? Of course to showcase the products in hopes of selling them in an "Open House." If only I could get anyone to come look at the wares. I'll explain that better in "Hosting Guests." I've also tried hosting them at other locations but that just doesn't work. Very inconvenient having to haul around all those boxes of things, back and forth. If I had this house, I would invest in nice containers and could easily store the things in that "front" and rather large living room, where I'd host the Open Houses, on the one wall of shelves; very easy access and convenient, out of the way of the rest of the house.
I also work with an awesome wellness company. Unlike Avon though, it's telling, not selling. There are products but only those that I purchase for personal use although they could also be used to display, as examples. To showcase the products in presentations to help better explain the company.
The same goes for this though as for Avon; hard to haul and get anyone to show but could easily be remedied by having this house.
There are, at least, three other similar home-based businesses, but different product, that I'd like to take on but as with these, the same problems would occur.
I also want to start a completely different business with my mom and sisters but that's a whole other story. ;D
I could, and would, make the house work for me, and itself.

# MAINTENANCE
As I'd said in "Peace of Mind," owning a house would not be a burden but a dream. To have my own place would be so relieving. Having the responsibilities, freedom and control of my surroundings would be absolute magic. I would take pride in it. If there's something wrong, I would see that it be fixed, if not fix it myself, as soon as possible. Too long have I had to suffer poor conditions, it certainly doesn't help my anxieties of being in temporary residence. Having to wait for someone to come along and fix something, instead of being able to do it myself, when they see it convenient, which, most of the time, never happened. Very specific and limited hours, otherwise we'd be charged for wasting their time.

# MAIL SERVICE
It would be really nice to be able to receive our mail. We're always getting other peoples' mail in our box so it'd be no surprise if our mail turned up in other boxes but I wouldn't know because no one ever says anything about it where as I always return the things that wrongfully came to us. There was once, just one time, I can think of that someone gave us our mail but that's it. We've missed out on packages from family because of this. Christmas gifts. From family on the other side of the country. Family serving the country. A little upsetting to say the least.

# OUTSIDE
I rarely let my kids outside because it's so unsafe for them here. There's nowhere for them to play safely, not even the playground on complex grounds where if they're even seen there, others will show up just to be mean.
One time I did allow my kids outside. On the sidewalk, right in front of our open door and can you guess what happened?! The manager comes barging in, complaining about my children being unsupervised. Really?! Not only was I watching them but I was also talking with them before you rudely interrupted.

#4389 LAUNDRY
To be able to wash our laundry [for a family of 7, soon to be 8, mind you] as soon as a load is ready, instead of having it pile up until it's convenient to go to my mom's, would be.. AMAZING.
We do have a laundry room available here in our apartment complex but it's a bit of walk to and from, it's expensive at $2.75 for a small freaking load, and they don't always work! I've had to re-dry several loads; pain in the rear-end to no end!
No, the house doesn't come with its own washer and dryer but it has a room for it so you bet your ass I would invest in some good quality machines.

# PETS
We're not allowed to have pets in these apartments. Everyone else and their mothers have one or two, or more, and yet when I asked, all I got was "No." We would love to be able to have a pet or two.. Victor and I both grew up with family pets, it would be awesome to have that for our kids.

# HOSTING GUESTS
Whether for big celebrations like birthdays or holidays or just having visitors, it'd be nice to be able to host guests.

# HELPING OTHERS
By having this house, I would be able to help myself and with that, help others.

# GOING GREEN
I would very much like to reduce any negative effects on the environment we may have but it's impossible to do so here. It's so gross, we have two garbage days and as soon as the dumpsters are emptied, they're beyond full again, overflowing. The lands outside the complex fences are covered with debri. Almost every day we find trash outside our apartment and we get in trouble for it. We don't litter, we even pick up trash that we didn't drop.
If I have this house, we can do so much. We could recycle, we'd have a several gardens and trees, I'd invest in energy efficient everything; washing machine and dryer, kitchen appliances, solar panels, and more!
Even switching to cloth diapers with having my own washer and dryer!

I'll add more when/if I remember..